Circle of Life
by TheRoseintheStorm
Summary: The short regeneration fic. I liked the Deep Breath episode and I loved many references to the past episodes and companions, so I decided to take a series of snap-shots. Hope you'll like it Mild Doctor/Rose and hints of 11/Clara


_Madness_

Clara….Strax…No…Trenzalore…Dinosaurs…TARD…What's my name? Why am I dressed like that?

"I remember you!" – the girl with round face. The lizard and her gang, why they keep shouting at me? I don't get it! I don't understand, I remember dying. No! Regenerating! New cycle! Yes, new cycle I am brand new…What was my name? How did they call me? The Doctor? Don't like that name, it doesn't fit me well. I yell something for them to back off! I have something important to do! I have to…fall.

* * *

_Long forgotten items_

"Have you seen this face? I am sure I have!" – I question some stranger, I need to know! Oh, my head, it's still killing me! I remember this face, but where did I see it? And why did I choose a familiar face, what am I trying to say or prove? I am old, I get that now. But I used to be young, I loved being young! And not ginger, again! I need cloth, yes clothes! That's what people wear!

"Maybe a long scarf! No, it looked stupid." – no scarves this time round, it's inconvenient to run. Run, right! I do a lot of running. My head is still feels like a drill! Why so many memories? They are crashing all at once I need to rearrange them. No, later. I can do that later, first cloth.

* * *

_Amy_

We are trapped in this stupid restaurant! Clara still hasn't accepted me, I can see that. At least I remember her clearly now and I remember myself, more or less. I am the Doctor, but too many things are fuzzy, I'll deal with it later. OK, now the screwdriver. Clara needs to throw it to me. TOO SHORT DAMN IT!

"At times like this I miss Amy"

"Who?"

"Nothing" – not nothing actually, my dear Amelia Pond, you've visited me before I changed again. Or did I just imagine you? Doesn't matter, I saw you that was enough, you meant the world to me in another life, I guess that's why I get to be Scottish! Your stubbornness, your accent and your habit to complain like all true Scotts. I'll never forget you, my Amelia Pond, my fairytale friend. But it's time for me to move on, I have Clara now to take care of. Or her to take care of me.

* * *

_Rose_

I cross the room, I try to talk this droid into it's own death. After everything I suppose I did become someone I was afraid of. I became me in the worst way possible. My two previous bodies fought so hard to be more human like I can't remember why exactly…Than I see it. A bouquet of yellow roses. I am mesmerized, why can't I pass without picking them up, it touches my face and I remember, with clearance like it happened yesterday. Her laugh, her burning eyes. Rose. She was the reason that kept me fighting for so long. I hold roses in my hands, this is why this situation familiar, we got into similar adventure with Rose! But I can't remember details, why not? Did I do something bad back than which I tried to bury in my memory? Maybe, I can't dwell om this now. I looked at roses again. Funny thing, it's been what? Centuries? Millennia since I last saw her? And still…I feel a tingle in my chest, not nearly as strong as it used to be but it's there, even now, when I am old and so, so different. Nothing left of the original me, even the cycle is new, I am no better than this droid. Rose wouldn't even recognize me anymore. I am a stranger to myself. I throw the bouquet away.

* * *

_Clara, me and Rose…again. _

Clara doesn't want to come with me. Why is it so difficult for her to gasp it? She saw so many faces of me! I need her, she knows me! In the whole world no one knows me better right now than her! Good thing my previous self phoned her, maybe he'll convince her to stay. I am fully functioning now, but I am new and I am scared. Scared of what I am capable of, scared of getting to know new me, she has to stay! I don't remember Rose was so scared of me…Again her name slipped into my mind.

"Just see me, please!" – I beg Clara. Rose saw me, the real me, the moment I stood on my feet and defeated the Sycorax. She recognized me even though she never travelled through my timeline and never met other me's before, why it's so hard for Clara? Did I change that much? I see the way she looks at me and then she thanks me! And hugs me…that's awkward. I am not really a touchy person anymore.

She made a step towards me, now I need to make a step toward her. OK, what would Rose do? Damn it! Will I ever be free from her? I guess not, perhaps that's why it's called true love. God sounded cheesy, even for my Tenth self that would be too sweet. But it's so accurate, it never really goes way, it stays with you forever, at least in some form. Well then, what would she do? After that scary first adventure she offered me a snack? I can give it a go too.

"Want some coffee or chips? Or maybe coffee and chips?" – Rose used to love chips. I see many similar things in Clara, maybe that's why my previous self was a bit smitten with her, OK, a lot smitten.

"Coffee. " – Clara answers and laughs. And then she asks me about money and I don't have them once again.


End file.
